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The Outlander Kitchen Christmas Wish List

The Outlander Kitchen Christmas Wish List

Beyond the Books, The Fiery Cross

“The hell with Christmas!”

“What?” He stopped, breeks half-buttoned.  It was winter dusk, and dark in the room, but even by candlelight, he could see the color rising in her face.

“The hell with Christmas, the hell with Cross Creek — and the fucking hell with you, too!”  She punctuated this last with a wooden soap dish from the washstand, which whizzed past his left ear and smacked into the wall behind him.

“Now just a fucking minute!”

“Don’t you use language like that to me!”

“But you –“

“You and your ‘important things!’ Her hand tightened on the big china ewer and he tensed, ready to duck, but she thought better of it and her hand relaxed.

Diana Gabaldon, The Fiery Cross (Chap 33)

I know Christmas can be tense, what with all the emotions flying around, but whoa, Bri, watch the green eyes when you’re hurling the projectiles, eh?

In the hopes of promoting real-life familial harmony at this stressful time of year, here’s a little wishlist to help you buy for the Outlander fan/foodie in your life.  Sit back, relax and scroll through with a wee dram in hand.  And of course, feel free to add any of your own suggestions in the comments.

Pick right, and you may avoid a witch hunt…or at least the soap dish.



Spurtle — if I can’t have the wooden ladle that Jamie carved for Claire for Christmas in The Fiery Cross, then my second choice is this traditional Scottish kitchen stick.  A gift sure to stir the passions of any woman, particularly a 20th Century college graduate stuck smack in the middle of 18th Century domestic drudgery.  Just don’t turn your back once you’ve gifted her with it, ken?

Use it to make oatmeal or barley crowdie and you’ll never have lumps again.  Wanna taste?  Oh…wait…you’ll need to grab a spoon for that.

rolling-pin mortar-pestle


Herriot Grace — but seriously, if you really want to get on her good side, then you can’t go wrong at Herriot Grace.  The father (carver) and daughter (marketer) team sell everything from rolling pins to to mortars & pestles, to wooden ladles just like that one of Claire’s (minus the mint-leaf design on the handle).



Amputation Saw — just in case you look out the window to see a disgruntled 2000 lb buffalo walking into your dooryard, hellbent on finding the tall, red-headed bugger that shot him in the arse.


Hand-Crank Lantern —  a whole lot brighter (and less smelly) than a peat fire or tallow candle, plus you don’t have to bring along the recharger when you go through the stones!


Hand-Operated Grain Mill — fresh-milled flour would take Jenny’s Everyday Bread to a whole new level.  Plus, this particular model can be hooked up to a stationery bike or treadmill to make your pseudo-colonial life even easier.

No doubt that Brianna would eventually figure out how to hookup Clarence the mule to the thing, in between firing clay pipes for her Roman bath in the backwoods of North Carolina.


Cast Iron Pans — nothing (except copper) holds a steadier heat.  But when the power goes out and you’re cooking on top of the wood stove or over an open fire, it won’t be the $500 copper saute pan that you reach for first.  Cast iron, when seasoned properly, is as non-stick as teflon, but doesn’t flake off into your food and poison your bloodstream.  (Now that’s what I call a bonus!)

I rescued the 3 pans above from our little island’s recycling station last year.  They were rusty, neglected and full of wood bugs, so I took them home and thrust them into the red hot woodstove to burn off the crud and give them a second life.

I don’t recommend cruising the recycling station for gifts.  But if you are thinking about giving cast-iron (and my counsel is to think long and hard before you buy a woman a frying pan for Christmas), then go pre-seasoned and North American made.  While they may cost a little more, if you take care of them, they will last a lifetime — and you can use whatever metal, wooden or silicon implement you want.

Just never, ever, wash them with soap.  Hot water and a dish brush will do it.



Wooden Toothbrush – if you really want to live like Jamie and Claire, then you’ll ditch that plastic toothbrush and get a wooden one instead for each of your loved ones’ Christmas stockings.  They’re BPA free and come with your choice of plant-based bristles or those made from the sterilised back hairs of a Chinese boar.

Better than ripping up your gums with a frayed willow branch, and a great way to get one over on the white sow.


Kindle — it may seem a little 21st Century, but this is a little reminder for My Englishman regarding my very own wishlist — pre-loaded with Outlander thru An Echo in the Bone would be stellar — thanks Babe!

Actually, while I’m thinking about it, you may as well throw all of the stories about your countryman, Lord John, on there too.   It pays to be thorough, aye? 😉

The Scottish Prisoner

Last but not least we have Herself’s latest offering to us all, released on November 29.  It’s at the end only by reason of being the most obvious Outlander-themed gift of the season, and coincidentally, probably the one most of us bought for ourselves as soon as we possibly could.  My advice is to check the bookshelf before you go shopping.

And with that, I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas — the lot o’ ye. 😉


  1. JustHeather
    December 15, 2011 at 3:34 am

    I love all of the quotes you share from the Outlander series! Thank you for the quick reminders of the stories I love so much.
    I’d love to have my mom’s cast iron pans, but alas, I think they would weigh way too much to put in my suitcase and if I had them in my carry on, they’d probably classify them as a weapon. LOL

    I’ve given you an award. Please come pick it up at my blog:

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 6:50 am

      Wow — I’m honoured, JustHeather….thanks!

  2. If I had to choose one of those, I’d go with the grain mill. I love all the suggestions though. It’s a pity that the description of the ladle took only a sentence in the book because poor Jamie probably spent several months making it for Claire. 🙂

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:06 pm

      I can see Dudette on grain mill duty now! To tone those arms for martial arts…Theresa

  3. Hannah Railey
    December 15, 2011 at 8:30 am

    What *great* gift ideas!! I particularly like the Scottish kitchen stick, and yes, can imagine all the other non-culinary uses one could derive for that utensil! 🙂 I’ve got most of the Outlander series loaded on my kindle and it *is* a great way to read (although, I am more of a tactile creature, and miss being able to thumb through the last few chapters to remind myself of a fact or re-read a particularly wonderful passage. You can do that with the kindle, just not as easily I think….)

    Merry Christmas!

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:08 pm

      I’ve resisted the Kindle until now for that very reason Hannah…there are some paper books I’ll never get rid of…like you say, there’s nothing like thumbing through the pages…

    • Elaine Boyle
      December 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm

      Hannah, I agree. I miss being able to stick my finger between the pages and count ahead to see if I have time to finish the chapter! Also, if you dose off and you happen to touch the screen, it’s much harder to find your place again.

  4. Kiri W.
    December 15, 2011 at 9:49 am

    That’s certainly not your typical wish list! But oh, how I want castiron pans, as well!

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm

      The most used pans in our house!

  5. Lee Ann
    December 15, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Wow! I adore this post. Laughed out loud more than once. I, myself, would love the grain mill, cast iron pans and the spurtle! I also love saying, “Spurtle.”

    Maybe a nice posey from a tall, handsome man…minus the poison ivy though 😉

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:04 pm

      A posey full of Dauco seeds, what wise 18th C girl wouldn’t appreciate that!

    • Lee Ann
      December 16, 2011 at 10:48 am

      Indeed! Beautiful AND practical!!!

  6. ruaTimeTraveler2
    December 15, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Now that is just CLEVER! fun!

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

      Thanks V!

  7. deniz
    December 15, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Lovely! I bought my SIL a spurtle one year 🙂

    • Theresa
      December 15, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      My mother bought me mine 😉

  8. Aimz
    December 16, 2011 at 4:41 am

    What an awesome list of gifts. 🙂

    • Theresa
      December 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

      Thanks Aimz! I hope Santa brings you what you asked for…

  9. Emily @ Life on Food
    December 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    My mom has a great old cast iron pan. I want it so bad and am trying to hold out in getting a new one. Great list. There are some interesting things on it.

  10. maile
    July 11, 2012 at 7:26 am

    I use my great-grand da’s cast iron skillets. I have pictures of him camping in the Oregon woods, pan on the coals, cooking away. He also used them in his restaurant back in the 1920’s…. they are the best!

  11. Elaine Boyle
    December 8, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    That spurtle looks a lot like my father-in-law’s old wooden police nightstick lol!

    • Theresa
      December 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

      I love a multi-purpose untensil, don’t you?

  12. Carol
    December 9, 2012 at 6:57 am

    The iron pans also add a little iron to your diet. No need for Geritol.

    • Theresa
      December 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

      LOL! 🙂