Outlander Kitchen

Historical and Character-Inspired Food from the fictional world of Diana Gabaldon.

Archive for the tag “april fools”

Lord John & Percy’s Man Omelette

He was acutely conscious of Percy as he worked.  Small memories of the body lingered on his mouth, in his hands, making them uncertain with steel and flint.  He felt Percy’s eyes on his back, heard the small rustlings of quilts as that lithe bare body shifted in the bed.

His mouth tasted of Percy.  Each man has his own taste; Percy tasted, very faintly, of mushrooms — wood morels, he thought; truffles, perhaps.  Something rare, from deep in the earth.

The steel chimed and sparks flew, glowed brief against the char but didn’t catch.  He had tasted himself once, out of curiousity; faintly salt, bland as egg white.  Perhaps Percy would think differently?

Diana Gabaldon, Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade (Chapter 18 - Finally)

egg-white omelette

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Neil Forbes’s Smoked Ear

No time to be lost; people on the docks might know where the Anemone was headed next.  He turned and took a step toward the door.  Then a red wave washed through him and he whirled back, smashing his fist into Forbes’s face with the full weight of his body behind it. 

The lawyer gave a high-pitched scream, and clutched both hands to his nose.  All noises in the inn and in the street seemed to stop; the world hung suspended.  Roger took a short, deep breath, rubbing his knuckles, and nodded once more.

“Come on,” he said to Ian.

“Oh, aye.”

Roger was halfway to the door when he realized that Ian was not with him.  He looked back, and was just in time to see his cousin-by-marriage take Forbes gently by one ear and cut it off.

Diana Gabaldon, A Breath of Snow and Ashes (Chapter 103 – Put to the Question)

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